A Coast-to-Coast Poem for the Jabronis

On this festive occasion, here’s a brief note to my fantasy football league…

‘Twas the week of the big one
And thus there were two
In one corner, Ryan,
In the other, Yours True

But before we get into
The year’s main event
Here’s a note on the eight
Whose seasons are spent…

Dan, you were sudden,
Quick and forgotten
Like a badly stubbed toe,
Your season was rotten

For Russ a domain:
My fantasy skill
Clearly came from my mom

Levi’s forgiven,
He’s out of his habits
You can’t watch the waiver
While fucking like rabbits

Lance was unlucky,
No wonder he’s mad
But see his two titles?
Don’t feel too bad

Nick worked the wire,
The Jester Of Scrap
He’ll have more success
When he doesn’t draft crap

“Avoid land wars in Asia,”
The wise men all say
But Dustin invaded,
And his roster would pay

Anders, the heel,
The thief of first place
You invited our venom
On you and your face

Taylor the good guy,
His RBs were gold
But deep in the playoffs,
The Bells finally tolled

Now, Ryan, your comeback
Is nearly complete
Just little ol’ me
Is left to be beat

As no truer words,
Have ever been wrote,
I’ll leave you with this,
A philosopher’s quote:


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